thebeautifulRAINBOW/}

/Tuesday, September 18, 2007/

/starting afresh.../

One new semester. fresh new faces.

Welcome to W46C.

As i stepped into my new class w46c, i was highly anticipated to know my new classmates and facilitator. the moment that i opened the door, my class was half-filled. fresh faces in the class, some familiar faces that i had seen in my previous block in w4. A fresh new start but everyone of us here are definitely more bonded to our previous close classmates. I started to take a notice of everyone in the class and settle down at one of the tables. i put on a smiley and friendly face to greet my new classmates with a handshake. starting afresh!

I met my new team mates for enterprise. i was filled with enthusiasm in this module. i always love enterprise, the strong desire that motivates me and keep me going is the interest that i had felt, relates to business and workplace. imma loving it. i got it all from Jacob. it was saddening by looking at the facilitator who is going to conduct all my enterprise lessons from now on. He looks boring just like a computer geek, yes! to assure you he was in SIT. With his cypher t-shirt and pants that he wore makes his totally a geek, he was a typical uncle that i saw in the city of spore. the kind who is able to speak his english language eloquently and proud of who they are and how they make it here. and yes! i felt he is absolutely a square boring man, he tried to crack witty jokes while facilitating but it was absolutely not funny. if i will to rate him, i will gave him 3 out of 10. i named him MR BOX! oh please people, i am not being critical but well, let me elaborate more on how he facilitate AND you will FEEL ME ABSOLUTELY!
firstly he started with his boring ppt slides on the introduction of why do we study enterprise? hellO!!! none of my facilitators in w35f actually did this, even lynn or koOng! he was plainly a boring chap who goes by the book. next, he went on to facilitate and i was about to fall asleep as he will tend to harp on one issue over and over again. we are young and intellectual orites? if not we will not be sitting here in class instead in some private school. my stomach was groaning real loud, oh man. is he singaporean? sometimes he cannot get what my classmates are talking about? and he say: sorry, i dont get you or this is the topic we are talking about? yeah, perhaps you should be the one trying to bring them to the point, that is your job dude! you are supposed to engage us in brainstorming and gave us a closer idea on today problem statement. you are so different from jacob. sigh! your sincerity and passion in teaching in comparison to him was zero. later on, when it comes to end, he said. class you gotta finish ur quiz fast. the deadline of the quiz will end at 5 and the worst is, i will penalized your daily grades if you finish your quiz within a few minutes as this shows that you complete the quiz hastily and not probing deeply into getting the right answer. imma not gg to listen to his f* sh!t! totally an arsehole. cant be blame he is MR BOX. you are to evaluate through the performance and competencies in a student in class not being critical and penalize the student grade the more the merrier. MR BOX WHO DO NOT THINK OUT OF THE BOX AND WANTS HIS STUDENTSTO THINK OUT OF THE BOX!

Next, i started to know my team mates, they are janice, the hippy malay girl which i forgot her name, eng sin and the one Indian classmates, hozzee.. orites! they are cool able to chat and bitch about mr box to them 2.

about dar:
i am unable to feel his security.
it comes and goes.
just like him.
we are drifting apart perhaps.
truth is: i love him
he claim he do
but is it the truth
let me tell you
loving you is never easy.
imma still clinging onto it,
will i let go?

thanks jasmine for being there for me that night. i am stressed out recently. Well, looking 4ward to walk towards the light and get out of the pitch dark path right now. you too, jas! we will get there, lets walk the trail together.

i was forced unlock my blog cuz jasmine is unable to read.. arhh!

i need a new life..

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

/Wednesday, September 12, 2007/

it was a total dread as i am experiencing cramp. A tormenting pain in my stomach and that i had to leave my whole day to rest at home. oh god! pretty moody as i am having my pms you see. i can be happy at one moment and at the next moment feeling terrible and upset. what next happened that cause me to be feeling terrible is dar. i ascertain you, he was not aware that i am mad at him as guys are the most insensitive creatures of the world. he was telling me he will be busy for the whole of the week and will not be available to meet me. well, i dont mind you not meeting me but cant you just let me know in advance so that i can plan my schedule for the week. you see, i was thinking holiday is coming to an end so maybe he will want to spend more time with me as i will not be that free when school reopens, hence, i put him into my first priority and leave my days free for him. and yes, fuck! he rather spend it elsewhere. this sets me thinking that i had been sparing a thought for him, spending ultimate time with him, being there by his side when he needs me but does he appreciate it? like i reject to club sometimes knowing he doesnt really like it. have he spare a thought for me? how do i feel? is his life all about himself and how he look into one perspective not considering a thought for me? i understand this might be occasionally, but i felt in general guys are insensitive and selfish, they tend to care about themselves more than their girl. i know dar is quite loving and he rarely does that, but somehow, this outrages me and i am still mad at it.. yes i demand more and more every moment. reason is i love you and i wanna to enhance a better r.s in us.

spending my day at home.. yawns!!

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

hectic life during the holiday which explains why i have not been updating my blog for a couple of weeks.

in short,we seek gastronomical delight in local as well as international gourmet.

aston specialites
mr prata
psalm restaurant in copturne hotel
pelican's pizza
bukit timah food centre delight

2nd of sept 07 - darling birthday.

this morning started out dreary, then the sun shone briefly. Firstly,the plan was screwed by dar as he got to help out in the mum shop on his birthday and i got to reschedule the daytime programme for him. i am still fine with it as i truly understand that the mum needs him to help out due to the father who somehow sprained his ankle a few days ago. since then, we make it simple during the day time, decided to go katong and tried some delicacies. initially, i was upbeat and anticipating for today to come by but next, as the heavy clouds came over again, it was like raining star-rods. as mentioned above, his dad sprained his ankle and need the car to drive to the shop at about 2.30. hence, we are unable to drive to our destination and here we go we got to take the bike and which was highly impossible due to the rain. i was absolutely devastated as the plan was thwarted due to the heavy rain. so we got no choice but to stay at home for the moment to watch the dvd movie 'wild hogs' while waiting for the time to pass and fetch the daddy to work and move off to katong. by that time, our stomach were groaning and we jus cant wait to eat something. started with something simple which is the famous singapore katong laksa and move off to katong mall to this small lil cafe. but unfortunately it was closed. but well, i really gotta try that one day. french delights highly recommended by newspapers and magazines. after that we went to get dar present and shop around in ps. next stop to aston specialites. while stepping into the shop the aroma of the steaks and burgers causing me to be craving for the food and highly anticipated to try everyone of it. looking at the price just amazed me cause it is like freaking cheap!!! we ordered one honey bourbon ribs and sirloin set. comes with 2 side dish. the side dishes are great. onion rings and pasta salad is just fantastic. look at the pictures of the sirloin, it is absolutely juicy and you will never get to eat in somewhere with the quality and quantity they served. it is at priced reasonably moreover it is a restaurant, ambience and service of the staff was fine. bourbon ribs was large but i love it as it was filled with honey and barbeque sauce. the meat was tender! 4.5 out of 5!

honey bourbon ribs. sorry i had eaten 1/4 of it!!

sirloin had been attacked by us so it looks really small. pardon us!

yummy!!!!

=from me to you=

*sweet*

seeing is believing!!!! dar and i just love it so duper mwach!!! i wanna try the super burger next time!

well, next, we went home to finish up our puzzle. yipeee.. a simple bdae celeb but he love it!

i am lazy to write down all the events. so i will just show u all the pictures that i had took !

sheltering at sentosa

WHO IS THIS GIRL?

DIY POPIAH SESSION AT MY FAMILY GATHERING

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

/Monday, August 27, 2007/

i cant help feeling this way, i waited for your call since 9pm and u have not been calling me? you rarely go ur aunt place till that late.. yes i am worried and what can i do? walk around in my house.diverting my attention to watch tv so as not to think too much about it. i just cant do it, despite watching the korean drama i have always love, i am still thinking about him. my heart feeling extremely insecure about how mwach he love me deep in his heart? he claimed he love me lotsa in the afternoon if that is so, why is he like this lately? i am extremely upset over it, pessimistic about everything.

tell me is it fair that i demand more from him? this is the basic expectation that a girl will want from a guy. sigh! that is what a girl needs and what makes her happy alright? yes! he treated me really well and imma appreciative of it but well, what is causing the change in him? sigh! it seems to be a small problem on the surface, but deep inside as i had no idea how is he feeling, i am certain there is something wrong about it, perhaps we are falling apart.. it is not that i am thinking negatively, it is his actions that led me to think in such a way. well, i am extremely devastated for the whole day. sigh! what should i do people? after i had told him how do i really feel deep in my heart, he is still the same? and he even complains that i demand too much from him?

i am so helpless here. i had no idea what to do next as on one hand i want him back badly,on the other hand i got to tell him about this so as to enhance our bonding for our r.s. am i just going to tolerate and treat it as if nothing happens and it is cause that i think 2 mwach? i noe deep dwn i am not.

*crestfallen*
holding back my tears.
my heart hurts.. i cant breathe, i cant sleep.
i am still waiting for your phone call.

i need him.
i love him truly ever
do not doubt about my feelings for u, baby.
but i will let u go if it is meant to me.

you are my everything
so tell me what should i do? sigh!

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

/Sunday, August 26, 2007/

/a hidden post that is kept in my heart/

well... i was pretty upset with how darx treats me lately. i was wondering.. what is the cause?? darx loses all his affection for me especially when we do not meet up. he barely took the initiative to actually call or sms me. as it is a norm for a boyfriend to message or call the girlfriend when he is free as he will tend to miss her somehow. i just need my guy to be affectional, understanding, caring and romantic definitely!!! i believe this 4 factors secure every woman's heart but why do guys cant get it into their blockhead? does he not understand me or his feelings had gradually faded. i love him but sometimes i realise he do not what do i really need. sigh!! i am really devastated , will our r.s tear apart? sigh!!!
i repeat once, with my tears shedding in my heart that he is my world. my heart.my soul. i love him truly and deeply but what is obstructing his way to love me?
is it so hard to get the 4 factors i had mentioned earlier from a guy i truly loves?
heart thumping real fast that i am suffocating, i am feeling extremely stressed out. i felt that i cant feel his love anymore.
is it an end for us?
will this year be the last b'dae he will be celebrating with me?
i want him badly now
love you darling!

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

/Tuesday, August 21, 2007/

oh..
as usual.. jasmine message me in the morning to arouse me from my sleep to have breakfast. i was still lazing on my bed 2 be honest and woke up at 8.30 am. It was so tiring to wake up and moreover, i am having insomnia for the past few days. it was bizarre. despite that i am extremely exhausted, i am still unable to get into deep zZz. absolutely irritating and it sets me thinking what is wrong with me? why just i cant fall asleep? this is what Rach was experiencing a few weeks ago and it stays on for month. traumatizing as sleep is my first priority if you know me well.. luffs.

after imma done with my morning routine, met dem up at ya kun in northpoint for breakfast. imma late once again.. luffs!! oh my god, skipped school again on tuesday. we just cant help it u see as it is VB. No motivation to attend school. here is our next problem, so if we are not going to school, where shld we go? THINKING... 2 HOURS PAST... went to eat sakae although we are not very hungry. well, we spilt after that. shall not elaborate in details what i really did as it is not convenient.

Just felt that some people need to think before they speak. have he/she ever realise the way he speaks is so uncool and naive? i guess if anyone will 2 hear what had he/she just said, the person will be laughing his ass off. so please. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. if you really wanna impress anyone, speak maturely not by behaving like a child, c'Mon!

can anyone suggest to me, how to make my life interesting?? jasmine shld noe what am i refering 2. luffs.
time for ppt.
cyas!!

where does the rainbow end? <3
---

/Monday, August 20, 2007/

/new update!/

Hey PeePs! an extremely long entry to make up for my duper late entry due to the breakdown of my lappy.

trip to vivocity

Dar was asked to bring his cousin, Li Xin out for a trip as the mother had an appointment with her friend. I just cant wait to see her.. missing her! well, our first stop to 'mediya supermarket' if it was spelled like this? it is actually a supermarkets which sells all the japanese groceries and there is hato ice cream. naturally when the weather is scorching hot, you will have the duper strong craving for ice cream. so here we are, eating the squarish cone ice cream filled with refreshing flavors : green tea, black sesame, cookies and cream and milk ice cream.
*SLURP* *SLURP* i rate it 4 out of 5 stars cuz the serving is huge and cheap. 1 cone entitles you 2 flavors which cost 3.50, you guys should try it!!! simply awesome! we went on to shop in the supermarket while we are eating our ice cream, bought japan instant noodles, tidbits and sushi. OUCH!! SPENT about 22 bucks der! dar and i spilt the cost.

now we are happpy cuz we had our stomach filled. =)

so the 3 of us went to vivocity to shop and went to buy my new pair of slippers for 49.90. imma pretty crazy 2 buy that. sigh! sorta regret it. but well, no choice. just make good use of the slippers and wear it wisely.

went out of vivocity to explore and here are the fotos that we had took!!!

Imma pretty insane.
climb up the letter V .
If you had been there, you will understand what do i mean by that.
a woman wearing stockings climbing right up there.
it was fun..

hmm.. lastly!
we went to watch rush hour. it was hilarious and was laughing non stop through out the show but Simpson is still better!! rate it: 3 out of 5 stars as the content is poor. but funny!

updates on last saturdae- upset- smile!

i was out with dar for the whole day... he came at 5 to pick me up to attend his friend bdae.. here we go again, i off his radio without acknowledging as i felt it was normal for me to do it as i wanna carry on a conversation with him in the car and i always does that. wondering what wrong with him on that day, he just took away my hand while i was about to off the radio. i was seriously mad at him as i felt that if he wants to listen to the radio, he could let me know but not to take awae my hand just like this. this was absolutely rude and unacceptable! it makes me felt as though 'hey! mind you! that is my radio, do not TOUCH' silence went on for the whole journey to his place as he need to get dress up.. after we reached his place, he started telling me.. cuz my sister is like this, that is why i have to do this. i was like.... what the hell is wrong with him? acting immaturely and behaving like a small lil kid to vent his frustration on me. he had lost his mind from saying everything and broke my heart into pieces. i started tearing..... upset..
i was extremely disappointed in his actions and what he had said to me. he tried talking to me but i was not in the mood to talk 2 him at all. after some time, he apologised and tried to make me laugh=P i started smiling and help him out to style his hair. dont really know how to do it!! LOL... went to his friend bdae.. it was so bored and awkward... leave and went to play LAN. Dont really know how to play and learn extremely slowly. dar lose patience while teaching me cuz i just couldnt do it. haha. he should be happy cause this showed imma 100% girl orites? i was upset as dar scolded me... but well, knowing it well, it is all because of my stupidity in learning all those things that is actually not of my INTEREST! after that, went to dar place and spend my night with him. the greatest activity on sat.. cuz i am able to cuddle with dar and hug him to sleep. love him loads!

sundae!

nothing much!! went to popo house with dar for family gathering. i love faith! she is super cute.. love her love her love her. dar and sis are back on terms. *yeah*

monday!

pon school again.
went to karaoke with jas and rest... it was fun..
dar came over to fetch me home.=(
hmm, i not aware of dar intention actually. sigh!
sorry jas unable to fetch u to hougang...
well, was a lil unhappy because of dar attitude.. sulky!
i decided not to bring dar out with my this grp of friends next time.
after that, he told me abt his intention and i made a promise to accompany him to his mum shop to help out=( that was what he actually wanted.. as in his intention. sigh!
what is gonna happen tmr? i am so afraid... but i will pull it through. be strong fel.

doubting his understanding to me sometimes=(

orites!! time for dinner at home sweet home.
3 more days to holiday!! cant wait for it..

where does the rainbow end? <3
---